


The Prince of Cards

by EsculentEvil



Series: The Prince of Cards [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Budding Love, Dating, Explanations, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Metafiction, Romance, Secret Identity, Super Sanity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-09-17 10:39:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16973037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EsculentEvil/pseuds/EsculentEvil
Summary: Set after my previous works:BatdayandPhotograph.“In other words, Joker: Bruce Wayne needs a lover and it can’t beyou; so, if you can stomach it, show me this other face of yours and let’s finally complete each other as we were always meant to.” -- Batman inBatday."But BatJokes neveractuallyhappens—in any universe.""No, Lead; it doesn’t; ButBruJokes can anddoes." -- 2 Jokers conversing inPhotographActual summary: Batman and Joker try to date each other as Bruce Wayne and Jacque Carte.





	1. Jacque Carte, The Prince of Cards

((Harley helps Joker construct Bruce Wayne’s shy boyfriend.))

* * *

“I still think this is crazy.”

Harley giggles as she pirouettes into the bathroom, obviously giddy with glee. She clears the space behind her friend and ~~patient~~ ~~sibling~~ leader with an elegant leap before twirling and unloading all of her cargo onto the bathroom counter. Afterwards, she turns again to grin excitedly up at the wary clown.

Joker would share her enthusiasm, really, but he’s far to nervous to.

Harley huffs playfully when she realizes this and reaches up to pat his shoulder, “Come **on** , Mista’ J’! **He** asked ya out! Wha’z he gonna do? Ditch ya?”

“Jail me, more like...”

Harley rolls her eyes, “Fer what? Dropping some cards?” She shakes her head.

The villain sighs, “If he mistakes them for my throwing cards...”

The gymnast groans gutturally in exasperation, “Let’s just get started, huh?” She reaches into one of the bags she brought in and pulls out a box of hair dye.

Joker eyes it unsurly.

Then, he agrees.

* * *

They eventually decide on a slight modification of the [black, blue, and yellow](https://esculentevil.tumblr.com/post/170604367793/batjokes-black-blue-and-yellow) look Joker had worn before when he was getting back at the Bat for teasing him with that blasted Batsuit in Joker’s beautiful [purples](https://esculentevil.tumblr.com/post/169534914721/batjokes-purple) (lavender, plum, and violet).

Gorgeous green hair becomes beautiful midnight blue; yearning yellow contacts hide greedy green eyes; a bewitching black button-up nestles beneath a yelling yellow vest and a brilliant blue suit jacket. Spats and shoes that match the last two articles complete the look as a winning white trench-coat seals the deal.

A willowy white tie cinches the clown’s neck and transforms him into a magician while a [white chrysanthemum](https://www.easternfloral.com/blog/meaning-chrysanthemum-flower/) whispers the words he always struggles to speak: _I am loyal and devoted only to you whom I love with all my heart, forevermore_.

Bruce Wayne’s final sweetheart is ready.

* * *

The Harlequin squeals when she sees what they’ve done, “You’re **perfect**!”

Joker flushes as he fusses with his gold cufflinks (Embossed with [Onyx](https://www.crystalvaults.com/crystal-encyclopedia/onyx) [Spades because that’s **his**  suit](https://esculentevil.tumblr.com/post/170485293455/khenq-okay-this-is-random-but-i-remember).). He agrees, honestly, because he can hardly recognize himself already (And we haven’t even begun the skin pigmentation injections **or** the the muscle relaxants!); but he’s still so nervous, so jittery, so... overwhelmed. (This is happening... By **Jive** , I’m **dating BATMAN**.) He takes a breath. He tries to ignore how he shakes. “I can’t introduce myself like that... _Hi, I’m Prefect_.”

Harley snorts but nods, “Alright, alright! How about _Jack, tha Travelin’ Magician_!”

The criminal mulls it over. _Jack_ is a device that lifts heavy objects, a critical piece in a children’s game, a male donkey, a relative of the mango tree, a national naval flag used by warships, a stock hero of Cornish and English fairy-tales (As well as legends and nursery rhymes.), a famous serial killer in 1888 London, and a face-card within the four suits of any given deck (Among other things...). It is also a male given name that means "healthy, strong, full of vital energy" due to supposed Celtic origins—and Joker does genuinely like this name; but he has used it before as Napier. (I really shouldn’t just use it again... Too obvious...)

Then, he smiles: “ _Jacque Carte, The Prince of Cards_.”

(Now **that**  is perfect.)

* * *

((O MY JIVE. I finally have a concrete idea [yea, because that’s so not an oxymoron ~~**I** ’m just an oxymoron ugh~~] of where I’m going with, what I’m doing with, and ~~more-or-less~~ how I’m going to do this plot I established months [omj it’s been **months** wtf i’m so sorry everyone!!!] ago and I really hope you all like it. Anyway, please allow me to finally introduce Bruce Wayne’s boyfriend! All the information about the name _Jack_ comes from [wiki](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack) which is also where I got the French form of it: _Jacque_ (tho I already knew that; gotta cover my bases!). I used Google Translate to turn the word _card_  into [Middle] French which ended up being _Carte_. Thus: Jacque Carte. ♦))


	2. Date #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker (as Jacque Carte) goes to a Wayne publicity stunt as hired entertainment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair Warning: this chapter starts off with a [_Joking Mirrors_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16611794/chapters/38936156) reference; if you have not already read it, please read do now (or at least read _Photograph_ as linked to in the series summary).
> 
> Also, yes: _burning, hate-filled eyes_ is from Joker’s debut in Batman #1 which I address [here](https://esculentevil.tumblr.com/post/173821240433/this-is-a-crop-from-the-third-page-of-batman).

He has to remind himself to **breathe**.

There’s a noose around his neck and gold weights on his shoes. His face is numb and his is skin hot. There are chains on his cuffs and an abyss in his lungs. His eyes sting, the flower in his lapel is yelling at him, he wants to RUN.

_“Breathe.”_   


Looney looks up and to his left. In the side mirror of his low-key car is the visage of the Original 40′s Joker, Lead. His dark green hair is well lit and stands out against the pitch black of his leather office chair. The pale lime wall behind him balances out the dull purple of his suit and gloves. His _burning, hate-filled eyes_ stare back at Looney with a chilling calmness that cools the younger’s skin.

Looney breathes.

“Thanks,” he mutters as he sags uncharacteristicly in the driver’s seat. He keeps his eyes on Lead as he listens to Harley con a bouncer or two into unloading their materials and props into their assigned backroom. The large, muscular men are all putty in the Harlequin’s hand; just like they always are (Just like, in some ways, I always am, too.). He chuckles wryly at the thought. Then: “I’m scared.”  


“ _... So am I._ ”  


Looney chuckles and offers Lead a weak smile, “You’re not even going in there.” He lifts his right hand and waves in the direction of _there_ : a quaint little comedy club in the shadows of the Diamond District that Wayne Enterprises bought over and renovated with the statement that _Gothamites should laugh some more_.

The Leading Joker smirks back, “ _But I am_.”

Mark Hamill’s infamous Joker laughs and shakes his head, sinking back into his seat even more. Harley’s chatting it up with the bouncers by the club’s sidedoor, probably aware that Looney needs some time to pull himself together.

He isn’t sure there **is**  enough time for him to do that.

“ _You asked me why I didn’t show him, too_ ,” Lead finally speaks. His voice is soft and almost sad—remorseful ( **How**? We’re sociopaths; we aren’t... capable of that...). They aren’t supposed to be able to **love**  either (And look at us now...). “ _This is why_.”

Looney looks at Lead in surprise.

“ _Don’t run away like I did_.”  


* * *

The comedy club is decked out in Joker’s colors.

Against the warm wood walls and flooring, it isn’t really obvious; and if one knows their theater as well as Bruce Wayne does, one can easily say it’s just the colors of humor running around. The rich purple tabletops and teal accented gold chairs look fabulous, anyway, and match the thick curtains Joker currently stands behind. Harley is with him and posing as his assistant: a lovely blonde woman with bright blue eyes that match her icy glitter dress and sparkling heels.

She looks gorgeous.

Her lighter but paler colors go wonderfully with his darker and more vibrant hues. The only things about them that truly match are the white coats they both had on. Now, however, they are a pair of subtle opposites stark against the crowd.

But subtlety isn’t what Joker wants.

He wants **bold**.

* * *

Bruce is nervous.

There are a lot of things that could go wrong tonight and he knows this. Alfred knows it, too, and this is probably why he’s silently upped security: Richard Grayson, Bruce’s young ward, is armed under his clothes and his bright red suit (one that suspiciously matches the red of a certain harlequin...) covers the base of another, equally, red attire that usually flips and glides through Gotham’s air; Jim Gordon sits _casually_  at a corner table with a full view of the room and a gun in his jacket; Renee Montoya sits across the room with her own hidden firearm.

Clark Kent stands among the press.

Bruce smiles and waves and shakes as many hands as are shoved into his face. He prattles and rambles about the comedy club he refurbished without ever really explaining it away. He mentions Gotham and how much he loves it and tells everyone’s microphone that he just wants to see some smiles again.

He never tells them the only smiles he wants to see are those of his family.

He never tells anyone that Joker is now part of that unity.

* * *

The show is an astounding success.

Despite the fact that Jacque Carte is a magician and not a clown, his act is still funny and light-hearted; perfect for the comedy club. Add to that the fact that it’s completely clean, without any sexual innuendos or even a suggestive dress on _Lady Diamond_ , and the press is conned into suggesting them to parents for birthday parties and the like. Business cards are even demanded at once.

Lady Diamond immediately takes care of that, proving herself to be the more dominant party member when off the stage and out of the act; Jacque, however, just smiles shyly and hangs back—almost hiding behind his Lady partner.

That’s when Bruce Wayne swoops in. He slides up to the shy man and smiles, smooth suave pouring out of him. His eyes are bright as he takes the other man’s hand and praises his act, saying, “Why, I haven’t enjoyed magic so much since I was a child!” He kisses white-gloved knuckles, adding, “You must stay.”

Brilliant blue locks with yearning yellow.

Jacque squeaks as he agrees.

* * *

(The napkin is folded into a bat.)

This is the first thought that enters Jacque’s mind as he sits quietly beside Bruce Wayne. The larger man is smiling and offering him a drink; but the Joker behind the yellow contacts knows what he’s really being offered here.

Everything he ever wanted: the Bat **and**  the Man.

Smiling back and feeling incredibly shy (Jive, this is really happening...), Jacque accepts the tall glass of lemonade placed in front of him with one hand while the other holds the napkin-bat tightly. He fiddles with it as he sips his drink and listens quietly to the taller man speak. He smiles a bit wider as he watches Bruce describe his favorite trick and blushes when he’s asked to do it again.

“I cannot... without Lady Diamond...” whom is currently talking to a certain bird.  


“Can’t I substitute?” Mr. Wayne asks with a pleading smile—one that melts Joker’s little ink blot. “I mean, the knives are all fake, right?”  


Jacque shakes his head, “No, they are real; they simply do not touch her.”

As the Prince of Cards explains that the box and knives are designed to work in tandem, Bruce nods and listens intently. When Carte points out that Bruce’s body is simply too big to fit, the blue-eyed man smiles mischievously.

Then he speaks in the voice of the Bat: “Well, in that case... Can I skewer you?”  


Jacques blushes brightly and lovingly laughs.

* * *

The rest of the night continues like this: Bruce flirting extremely suggestively but never actually pushing for anything; Jacque smiling and blushing happily at him.

They share their meal, their drinks, and their stories. If Bruce thinks any of Joker’s words are lies, he doesn’t show it. They make each other laugh, teach each other card tricks and explain away optical illusions. Bruce reveals that he knows the _pen trick_  where you stab a piece of paper with a depress-able pen and move it so it looks like you should be tearing up the paper but you aren’t.

Joker looks pleased.

“Where did you learn that?” Jacque asks curiously. He’s slowly relaxing in this man’s presence and it’s something that he never thought would happen. He never believed that he’d one day be sitting beside the man he’d been chasing for decades, wearing his colors and eating his meal. He never even dreamed that he would be able to speak with him, be listened to by him, be **flirted**  with by him.  


He never thought he could be so happy.

“When I was a child, my parents always provided me with everything I wanted,” Bruce explains, keeping his voice and face carefully controlled. Jacque sits straighter and stares at him, wide-eyed, and fully aware of the landmine he just got flung into. “When I read about magicians in books—mostly plays—they got a real one to come to the manor and perform for me.” Bruce smiles at the memory, “He was amazing and I was enthralled...” He looks at Jacques and smiles at his wondering gaze, “With the mystery and unraveling it.” He smiles wider when his date (for that **is**  what they are on) snorts and giggles at him. “So I did. The _Pen Trick_  was the first one I figured out; but I eventually cracked them all.”  


“Show off,” the Prince of Cards teases.  


The rich child only smiles, “Only for you.”

* * *

It strikes Joker that this whole thing is very strange.

For what seems like his entire life (because he doesn’t really remember what he’d had before the vat), the Clown Prince of Crime has been chasing after his Bat. His Bat, whom has always been a dark and broody fellow that always scowls and never laughs, has always run from his opposite: the goofy, fun-loving one that always laughs but also scowls. They’ve always been one black card and one colored card; two cards that function in the same way but never act in the same way; cards that do the same thing but never for the same reasons; trump cards that turn the tides as well as the tables in two different directions.

Until now.

Now, they are a dealer and a player: the person with the deck and the person with the drive to win. One of them is handling the cards of fate and setting the stage while the other is flipping those cards and revealing the truth of the game.

This is not Batman and Joker.

This is Jacque Carte and Bruce Wayne (And Joker isn’t sure he likes it).

* * *

"Is this why?” Looney asks his vanity in the middle of the night.

Harley is asleep, no longer Lady Diamond but ready and willing to become the strong business woman whenever needed. Bud and Lou, who missed them that day, are curled up beside her; but their twitching ears tell Looney that they’re waiting for him to join them. Giggles and Chuckles are asleep in their own beds, just down the hall and tired from keeping Bud and Lou home and out of trouble.

“Because it’s not the same?”  


Lead only looks back at Looney with emptiness in his normally bright eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~The ending of this piece is inspired by the fact that this really does NOT feel like BatJokes. Even to me so I’m sure it feels less like it to all of you. I’m really sorry I couldn’t make this work.~~  
>  After thinking about it, I realized that this is just reality: real relationships are always riddled with problems and hurdles for couples to contend with and this [change in their dynamic/OOCness] is simply going to be theirs; Looney and the Con Bat are just going to have to work at being a pair. However, I do understand that this may not be something any of YOU are interested in; if that’s the case: I won’t write any more of this continuity and return to writing regular BatJokes; okay?


	3. Date #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker (as Jacque Carte) goes out to dinner with Bruce Wayne.

This time, things are a little less formal (While also being twice as formal...).

This happens because they’re having dinner for two in an Italian restaurant that starts them off with free butter biscuits, napkin swans, and center candles.

It’s a simple affair—in theory—that’s relaxing and restricts the press  **just**   _so_.

But all Joker really sees is the illuminated  **purple**  of Bruce Wayne’s suit.

* * *

 

It’s delicious, really, that purple.

It’s like a plum: deep purple to the point of black with red highlights that make you ravenous. The lighting of the restaurant is dim and mainly from the center candles so this could very well be an illusion; but if it is, Joker doesn’t really want to see the end of it. It’s too fitting: too  **blood** y perfect for him—for  **them**.

Especially since Bruce’s shirt is orange.

Honestly, if it weren’t for the brown tie (Obviously, that’s meant to be his  **pit** —he he he~!), Joker’d swear the man is trying to impersonate him; instead, he’s very aware that the large man before him is trying to get  **eaten** ; and that’s delightful.

* * *

 

Joker, himself, is not in purple—again.

This is mainly because he’s not  **him**  right now; he’s Jacque Carte.

Jacque’s colors are brilliant blues and blacks with yellow and white highlights.

He’s still vibrant, yes, but more in the sense of an artificial flower—not a clown.

* * *

 

He’s not at all sure what he expected to come of this night.

After their first date, at the comedy club, he honestly thought he wouldn’t be able to do this: to sit here—anywhere—with, not the Bat, but the Man, Bruce Wayne.

He thought that the strangeness—the un-BatJokesness—would be the end of it.

But it’s not; and he’s here and he’s happy and he’s scared.

* * *

 

They don’t have sex.

It’s only the second date and even a sociopath like him knows to wait.

He still finds it strange: after all the years they’ve fought each other—all the years they’ve torn into each other, made each other bleed, bit and scratched with enough love and hate to last an eternity—they leave it for another date.

But, maybe, that’s the point (There’s going to  **be**  another date...!).

* * *

 

The meal is still exquisite and more than Joker could afford without stealing it.

It takes them hours to get through everything and the chef obviously takes her time preparing all of it as a result of this. Most of the time, they’re just talking. Magic is once again a primary topic but Jacque doesn’t bring out his cards: there’s too big a chance something will go wrong with the candles and staff.

He wants that third night.

It’s not all they talk about, though—magic. They talk about history, too—surprisingly. They got to it by Joker offhandedly commenting on the origins of card suits (Diamonds used to be swords, spades used to be cups, clubs used to be  **bat** ons—one of the reasons, I guess, [Batsy thinks he’s the King of Clubs](https://esculentevil.tumblr.com/post/177334013122/this-is-a-crop-from-the-tenth-page-of-batman)—and hearts used to be pentacles.) as  **he**  knew them; and then Bruce countering with his own understanding of their origin ( _[The Chinese Money Suit System.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_playing_cards#Money-suited_cards)_ ).

When they realized the Joker was rooted in [tarot](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarot) instead of cash, they laughed.

“But I find this fitting,” Jacque says giddily. He’s on his third glass of wine and fighting the urge to hide behind a fourth (Because alcohol makes me weak and if I have any more I’ll probably fall asleep.); not that it would do him any good, of course: his face is already completely flushed and Bruce is smiling at it... “As... Ah, you are a billionaire, oui?” His random French is becoming more sporadic but he thinks that’s fine as it seems to light up Bruce’s warm, affectionate eyes, “And I am but a magician; a king and his jester, no?”

The Man’s eyes hold soft smiles, “I’d court you no matter how our cards align.”

Joker’s inkblot squeezes happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... wow... this... turned out WAY better by the end than I thought it would... I’m really proud of it! For those wondering: Joker’s inkblot is his heart—as in how I headcanon he refers to it; it’s meta. Also: yea, I learned the Chinese Money Suits just for this; tarot is a thing I’m casually into so... Anyway, after the last/first installment of this series, I decided that the first thing to do to help these two power through their OOC issues would be to cement the fact that they’re still them. Hopefully I did well and you all can see what I was trying to do; hopefully it was fun too! ♦♦♦


	4. Date #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joker is both amused by this series and determined to turn it into something more than I intended it to be; there’s a lot of references to [my _Joking Mirrors_ headcanon](https://esculentevil.tumblr.com/post/177631478670/batjokes-the-kiss-button) [mostly to [Lead](https://esculentevil.tumblr.com/post/173696502693/slowly-the-facial-muscles-pull-the-dead-mans) (The Golden Age Joker), [Lethe](https://esculentevil.tumblr.com/post/172682349625/the-lethe-joker) (Silver Age), [Liquid](https://esculentevil.tumblr.com/post/172098051355/comicstoastonish-batman-the-killing-joke) (Bronze Age; which, for me, starts off with the 1988 releases of _The Killing Joke_ and _Death in the Family_ ), [Lament](https://esculentevil.tumblr.com/post/167353252180/pandorra777-its-you-under-there-isnt-it-my) (where I’m starting the Modern Age because DC reset the timeline with _New 52_ ), and this Joker as Looney ( _BTAS_ ); but also to “Scottie C” which is how Lament refers to his Bat because they’re written by Scott Snyder and drawn--mostly--by Greg Capullo (it’s also, technically, a reference to FNAF and Game Theory because MatPat sometimes calls [Scott Cawthon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Cawthon) _Scottie C_.)] and 4th wall breaking.

Their third date is a walk in the park.

It’s so cliche, Joker can’t help but laugh.

Bruce, interestingly, finds it about as amusing.

He smiles the entire time Jacque explains the hilarity away.

* * *

 

Secretly, there’s another reason Joker finds this date a mockery.

In the reset version of their universe (One of many, technically.), he and Bruce have dates here, too. Granted, those aren’t the same thems, but still.

Lament is Looney, too, just as Looney and Lament are both Lead.

They’re all Jokers and, really, Bruce will always be Bruce.

* * *

 

He pushes these thoughts aside: enjoying his time with Bruce, the man behind the Bat, is far more important than how this date ended in  _New 52_.

It’s also far more important  **because**  of what happened to Lament and Scottie C.

The Amnesia Arc ended in disaster which just flung them apart farther.

Looney’s determined to prove  **that won’t always happen**.

* * *

 

The fish don’t seem to like him now as much as they will like Lament.

Looney’s not entirely sure why this is—something to do with his infamous Laughing Fish, maybe—but he quickly comes to accept it.

Far more important, anyway, is the man sitting beside him.

Bruce turns and smiles at him, giving Looney an eyeful of moonlight and stars; for a moment, the Bat’s glowing eyes and smirk overlap his: Looney swoons.

* * *

 

“You’re a lot quieter than I imagined,” Bruce finally comments.

His voice is soft and careful but still surprising in its suddenness. Jacque turns to blink at him, confused, but a hesitant smile curves his lips, “But I warned you of this, non? On your birthday, I told you:  _I’m the me that’s shy_.”

Bruce tucks a dark blue lock of hair behind a pigmented ear, “I know...”

He’s silent, almost wistful, for a while and it causes Jacque to think they’re done; then: “I guess... I just miss how much the other you likes to talk...”

* * *

 

Lament’s completely silent as he stares back; Lethe’s gaping openly at him; Liquid’s face is contorted in confusion; Lead’s... just sitting there, shaking.

Looney’s honestly worried about the leaders of each comicbook age.

“... He...” Lead finally speaks, voice hushed and hesitant, “Really said that?”

Looney’s inkblot swells at the hope he hears in that question, “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you that have been reading my Joking Mirrors installments, you probably noticed a Joker I’ve never really addressed before: “Liquid” is basically Alan Moore’s Joker because I feel like _The Killing Joke_ was a really pivotal comic for Joker’s character because it revamped his 1951 origin story as well as created Oracle from Batgirl; however, “Liquid” is also the Joker from _Death in the Family_ because, obviously, that’s another pivotal comic in which Joker kills off Jason Todd, as per the voting pole created by Dennis O'Neil [editor] in 1988; since these comics were both released in the same year—1988—and deal with such defining material that have clearly been carried over into later releases, I see them as the two legs that carry the Joker out of the Silver Age [with all it’s censorship and cleaning up of Joker’s character] and into the Bronze Age [which is typically marked by the revival of and audience interest in Joker’s murderous sadism].


	5. Date #4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker’s back as Jacque and he’s determined to make things work between him and Bruce. He’s also determined to encourage all the other Jokers in existence to date their own Bruces. And, honestly, this whole _date Bruce Wayne to monopolize Batman_ thing is going better than he thought because not only does the **man** like Jacque but the **Bat** is admitting he likes Joker, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couple of things: this features Young Richard, the Butler Alfred, and Harley as Lady Diamond; this also features [my Joking Mirrors headcanon](https://esculentevil.tumblr.com/post/177631478670/batjokes-the-kiss-button) [again] as The Leading Joker briefly appears, The Lament Joker is mentioned, and this fic’s Joker, the one from _BTAS_ , is called Looney; there’s also a lime-ish scene half way through and we finally get a kiss near the end! Enjoy~!

Their fourth date is at a carnival.

It rolled in over the weekend—seemingly out of no where—and set up its booths for the entire month. Interestingly Halloween themed, the rogue event seemed to fit quite comfortably into Gotham city.

Bruce didn't seem all that concerned with the timing [though, he might have looked oddly amused] and Robin (Ah, sorry:  **Richard**. Hehe!) was too excited to suspect much of anything; but Alfred—the butler—did not remove his stern gaze from either clown (Ah, Harley is going with us—as Lady Diamond—so Batsy's little fatherly instincts can be assuaged~ … And then we'll get into the  _nitty gritty_ ~ Hoo Hoo!) as they announced themselves Tuesday morning with matching devious grins.

And if Jacque managed to score the seat next to Bruce on the ride there, well, he wasn't the only one happy.

* * *

 

The date started out as a family affair [which Jacque didn't really mind].

They found games to play, partnered up in various ways for them, ate together, snacked together; everything.

Lady Diamond and Alfred the Butler ended up in a surprisingly deep conversation about post traumatic stress disorder in war veterans which led to Harleen Quinzel agreeing to visit a shelter Alfred frequents in order to speak with several men and women whom meet that criteria.

Richard and Jacque ended up sharing cotton candy while discussing philosophy—and, no: Bruce isn't crying over this; his smile is just squeezing water into the corners of his eyes; really, that's it.

* * *

 

“Maybe we should try the dog park next time?” Bruce suggests when they finally have a minute alone.

Lady Diamond is with Young Richard and Butler Alfred watching a show the carnies are putting on. Bruce and Jacque decided to hang back a little, watching from a safer distance so that they can talk.

“Richard does seem to get along well enough with Bud and Lou.”

Jacque smiles and laughs with his eyes. He nudges the billionaire silently before speaking softly, “They're  **hyenas** , Bruce, not dogs; but I agree; perhaps we can even get them to like your butler, too?”

Bruce nods while staring at the shorter man contemplatively.

Jacque gazes back confusedly, “Is something the matter?” He watches with surprised eyes as the billionaire's smile turns heartbreakingly  **sad**. “B-Bruce?”

“I miss your laugh.”

A lot of things happen in the following moment. First and foremost: Joker's jaw drops; he has to literally slam his epiglottis down on his windpipe to ensure he doesn't start squealing like an idiot. Second: Bruce blushes—apparently only now realizing what he just said—and looks so painfully bashful that Joker wants to covet his face (Suddenly, I understand Lament's flesh-face run so much...). Third: Looney's  ~~heart~~  inkblot swells with an overwhelming amount of hope and attempts, helplessly, to pump a least some of it out to all the other Jokers in existence (It's true; it's  **real** ; it's  **not**  just in our heads: Batsy really does love want need us as much as we want, love, need, and cherish him!); he's unsure if he succeeds.

Fourth: “Then, perhaps our fifth date should be upon a rooftop?”

The result is completely unexpected. Joker chokes on more than just Jacque's shyness as he's suddenly enveloped by Bruce Wayne's strong, thick arms. He's pressed into a large, buff chest before he even realizes what's happening; and a proud, Grecian nose is suddenly burying into his neck.

He blushes, flustered, “Bruce?!”

“That's perfect,” the billionaire breathes, not letting go. His voice rumbles against Jacque's throat and collarbone while his mouth brushes against skin and nerves. The disguised villain gasps softly and shivers. Intrigued, Bruce buries his nose further in, inhaling the other's scent ( _Hm... lavender, mint, and something citrus... Even dressed like this, he still smells like_ _ **him**_ _._ ), and plants little kisses on any skin he finds.

Joker moans encouragingly before breathing a warning, “You are the morality, Ba _t_ **ma** _ **n**_ ; whatever we do and whether it is  **right**  or  _wrong_  is up to  _ **you**_ ; for I will  **never**  say  _no_  to you, my beautiful Bat.”

Feeling the tips of his ears blush [and, seriously, when was the last time  **his**  date got him all flustered up?], Bruce pulls back and presses his forehead against Jacque's. He stares into the other's yellow eyes  ~~swearing he can see the acid green gazing back~~  and nods, accepting his role.

He then swoops in and claims a kiss.

And Joker smiles at how Batman-like Bruce Wayne really is.

* * *

 

“You can't be serious.”

The Looney Joker grins as he studies a detailed map of his and Batman's city. He's trying to pick a rooftop for his date with Batsy (Not Brucie~!). While he was looking, The Leading Joker had noticed him and asked why; the answer gobsmacked him but, “It's true!” Looney giddily explains to the other Joker, “He looked me right in the eyes as he said it! With such a  **sad**  smile! He misses our laugh, Lead!!!”

The Original 1940's Joker just shakes his head, “Your Bat is strange.”

The 1990's Animated Joker then smiles encouragingly, “Your Bat's the same—mine is just a bit more honest, I think. But that can change.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little afterthought: I know that in _[Acing the Leap](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16902756/chapters/39708570)_ I said Joker smells like lavender, blood, nicotine, and acid but I feel it would be strange if Jacque smelled like most of those things—especially blood—so, I took that out [based on the idea that he doesn’t kill people as Jacque], swapped the acid with citrus [because the juice from citrus fruits like oranges are acidic] and put mint in place of nicotine based on the idea that Joker smokes menthol [i.e.: mint] cigarettes.


End file.
